I remember exactly how it begins a day in our orphanage. We would all wake up, and then two supervisors came to check if we peed in our beds. We were all the same age in our room and we were almost 4 years old. If one of us did pee in his bed, there was a great punishment: they took that child into a bathroom, turned on the shower and beat him with an orange, 30 cm long hose. We were all afraid of them. One time I can remember that I peed in my bed. I was so scared that the supervisor would find out. Two of my roommates saw what happened, and helped me cover the crime before the monsters could see what I have done.
I don’t remember eating there or brushing my teath or having a bath. But I have one memory sticked to my brain, that I think I will never ecape it. We were all so tiny, so weak and we didn’t know the taste of food, than one day, a boy from our group called all of us to show us- what he called- “something amazing”. We were all intrigued about that “amazing” thing, that we decided to follow him. He took us into the bathroom, and there in the middle of a stall there was a huge shit. He went to that shit, put a finger in it and then tasted it.
“It is good! Take a bite! “he said. And then all of my roommates did exactly like him. I was the only one that was grossed out. I was the only one that didn’t want to see the taste of it.
That memory is so fresh in my mind, it’s like it happened a second ago. Now all I can think about is that: we were like animals, we were all so savaged. We didn’t know what love was, there was nobody to educate us. The only form of education was the beeting. Still I was more fortunate than the others beacause I had a big brother, who was like the Peter Pan of the Lost Boys. We were fighting for survival, and he was our chief, and I was his protegee. He taught me how to fight, how to never let the others to do whaterver they wanted. I had a protector. I knew a sense of warmth from another being.